its funny how you can be surrounded by people you love and feel completely alone.
i am alone
i sit here wasting my time waiting for someone to wake up my heart and nothing ever happens.
my mom isn't here
i haven't had a hug from her in weeks. i miss the feeling of mothers unconditional love.
i feel like i have to act like a child to feel that love, because i could never disappoint my mom when i was a baby.
there is just this huge disconnect in my mind. i watch everyone else love, everyone else laugh
while i sit and feel numb. i pretend all the time.
i know if it were my natural self i would just collapse and give in to the truth of it all.
i cant even sing along to love songs, thought i could. but it turns out i cant. haven't had the experience of love or relationship to sing about. i pray to God that he gives me the gift of staying in the present.
my birthday is on Monday
ill be 17 and lost.
i guess everyone is
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